A Lil Taste of Kwame Brown's Momma's Cookin'
Photo courtesy of Instagram @Kwan_low
By Llerraj Esuod
"Woe to him who offends a patient man who has just reached his limit."
Despite being the first overall pick by the Washington Wizards in the 2001 NBA draft straight out of high school, some folks have never heard of Kwame Brown. Many only learned of the man and his themed messages (as unfiltered as they are unapologetic) on his wildly popular YouTube channel Kwame Brown's Bust Life.
Brown, a former center and power forward, was habitually clowned as a "bust," most notably by ESPN's Stephen A. Smith, who called him out for falling way short of the expectations everyone had for the 16th player to be professionally drafted without ever stepping foot on a college campus.
Well, Brown seems to have found a new calling that might not make up for his lackluster basketball legacy but is rattling the Internet with his country-twanged rejoinders. It began when Gilbert Arenas appeared on the All the Smoke sports podcast, hosted by former NBA players Matt Barnes and Stephen Jackson. The trio went in on Brown's 12-year NBA career with Arenas first among the group to categorize the 7-footer as a "show pony" whose "confidence" was hampered by one of the games' elites.
And for "16, 17, 18 ... 20 years," Brown kept his "mother fuckin' mouth shut," but he has determined that enough is enough!
Brown uses his platform to live his bust life by stepping down from his tractor to make time to go back and forth with these niggas. He keeps it brutally honest, not giving Coke Zero fucks about political correctness or hurting feelings while cracking viewers up with soulful servings of what he refers to as his "momma's cookin'."
It's the type of cooking that does not require cast iron cookware, a stovetop, or an oven. Instead, it is an intimately spiritual process Brown engages to be intentionally "connected to something" invisible to the eyes of others. He's discerning, able to know the face behind the face and decode double-speaking "weak-punk-sombitches" who believe he is crazy and lashing out after an allegedly failed basketball career.
In Gordan Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen, all the intercontinental herbs and spices in his cupboard cannot compare to what Brown's momma Joyce Elizabeth had been storing into him before her passing in 2009. Through wizened conversations concerning life and living, she taught the tongue to be sharper than a double-edged sword and a lie to be quicker than the truth while providing instructions on cooking the caustic when necessary.
Arenas, Barnes and Jackson are apparently unaware "he who opens wide his mouth shall have destruction" (Proverbs 13:3) and know nothing about the African proverb to "respect quiet people because when they finally do speak, their lips can play drums."
And Brown's explosive, expletive-laced hour-plus video response on his channel eviscerating Barnes (Becky with the good hair) and Jackson (CB4 aka The Fake Prophet) confirmed the self-professed "Busty Bust" is no longer allowing anyone to "fuck with his momma's son."
He sees Black athletes performing for "White Zaddy" as being both product and profit; the currency and chattel of an alleged "Go-Along-Get-Along-Gang" allegiant to legendary "company policy."
"It's about the behavior," he says.
He's amused to still be on so many minds nearly two decades later, like his time "playing ball is fresh."
Especially Smith, to whom he asks, "Why were you at dem colleges, boy?"
Brown's harsh rhetoric is impactful and far-reaching. Globally and regionally, Brown has people thinking. So what more have his naysayers done other than talk shit or play a "fuckin' game?"
Others' expectations were just that – others' expectations. So for a young man to go from the homeless shelter, the "government cheese line" to the NBA's No. 1 draft pick is, for him, a mission accomplished.
He would also last seven years longer than the average NBA career length of five years, allowing him to support his momma living near a lake. And from the sound of it, he was also able to safeguard his psychological health as a rookie beholden to a Wizard's clubhouse that did little to maximize his potential.
His momma's cookin' has fed him the knowledge that only God can judge her third eye, Geechee, and he is feasting on her Great Debater's soup recipe knowing his pundits are" easy-to-beat sombitches because they stupid."
Too stupid to know his momma's cookin'--even from her grave-- is keeping him connected to something.